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Thursday, June 23, 2011

How Clean Was My Valley...

A friend put a post up on facebook asking where he could buy a douche while he and his partner were on holiday - they'd  forgotten to pack one.

I thought some of the reactions were interesting, that it was "TMI" or "ewww...gross". Shit is shit, and not many of us like it, especially when you mix it in with sex. Don't forget though that all the human sex organs are also rubbish outlets, there's no need to get extra squeamish about the arse.

Not all gay men fuck or get fucked, but I guess for most of us, fucking is the defining sexual act. Sodomy. Taking or giving it up the arse. We're bum-bandits, and it's one of the things that straight men find so scary about us - that we can get fucked and enjoy it. It unmans us and is also intensely masculine.

It is an incredible amount of fun, it feels fantastic, it is deeply intimate and personal, and physically it's the closest we can get to another man, to be there, inside him or have him inside us.

And to make this all really good, a thorough cleaning out beforehand is a very good idea. I don't understand why guys get so "ewww" about it. A lot of us are happy to rim a nice clean arse, or get rimmed, but we seem to want to pretend that it's clean by magic. It aint. Gay men know much more about their arseholes than most straight men ever will, yet there seems to be this horror at the idea of talking about it all.

Maybe I'm biased due to experience. Once, a long  time ago, I was fucking this guy who was bouncing up and down on top of me, it was the morning after a long night of fun, and then he went up and... it all came down.  As we both looked on in horror, suddenly there was a voice in the corridor - his dad had dropped by for a Sunday morning visit. "Don't move, I'll get rid of him and be right back" he said as he threw a towel over me. I wasn't planning on going anywhere, trust me.

Of course, we laughed about it later, after he'd cleaned me up. But let's say it left a lasting impression.

So I think we should relax and feel more comfortable about the whole process. Douching is a good thing, something we should encourage. Young men might need to be taught about it, there is a certain skill that you only get with experience, judging when it's really all over, or when it's just the calm before the storm.

But a little warm water and care goes a long way to increasing the joy and intimacy of a good fuck. Like a good boy scout - Be Prepared.